Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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