I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize