That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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