i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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