Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
