This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
