he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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