Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize