I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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