She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
