Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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