wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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