you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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