Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
