is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
