So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
