Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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