I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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