Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Randomize
