like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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