so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I am naked and annoyed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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