My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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