At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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