There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
