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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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