I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
