Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
