I skipped work to stalk him.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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