From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
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Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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