I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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