i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize