I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
