I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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