Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
