you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
