They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
