Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize