would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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