I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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