you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
