You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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