Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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