wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
