i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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