The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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