my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
be right there i have to get my cape
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
