Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
