my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
