You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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