He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
