Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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