Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
