talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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