Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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