You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
