The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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