so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
