oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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