we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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