i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
