Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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